Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Queen Lives--Just Barely

It's ironic that two bleedin' days after my patrons scold me into making a doctor's appointment and getting back on my meds that I end up in the hospital.  I drove myself to Swedish/Providence around midnight on Thanksgiving, another stupidity for which I got gobs of scolding.  I knew that what I was experiencing was similar to when I had my heart attack in 2003.  My second night in hospital one doktor who was looking over test results came in and said something like, "Your heart condition has gone from so-&-so to severe."  I didn't know what he meant, but I began to prepare for my death, as a proper Drama Queen should.  When my niece Brandee phoned, I told her to bring the copy of the Tampa University Press single edition of The Case of Charles Dexter Ward that I had just started reading and was on my bedside table to the hospital--if I was gonna die in hospital, I wou'd die with that book on my breast, above my wither'd heart.

ye trade pb edition of S. T.s wonderful annotated THE CASE OF CHARLES DEXTER WARD

Well, I didn't die with the book on me breast, and then S. T. shew'd up with his girlfriend Mary (bringing some wonderful lilies, those flowers of Death), so I had him sign ye book.  My room that moment was packed with S. T., Jessica Salmonson, Eileen Gunn, and others--and then two Mormon gents entered as well to give me a blessing with holy consecrated oil.  Everyone left the room quickly as the Mormons came in except S. T., and I thought he was gonna stay witness ye Mormon hoodoo--but then he left as well.

My beloved companion, Ghostboy, took over taking care of my mother, and he did and is doing an excellent job.  I think the heavy lifting that is required for taking care of mom added to the strain on my heart.  We have decided to put mother into a rest home, and thus my future is indeed a mystery.

I have been weak and listless all day.  I can come down here to the basement to do Internet things for half an hour, and then I need to return to bed.  I have no energy and breathing is at times difficult.  I was on oxygen at hospital and miss it now.  I have no idea how long it will take me to completely recover, but I remain Retired from Writing until that time.  I hope, some years from now, to totally return to writing weird Lovecraftian fiction--life would not be worthwhile if I cannot.

Many thanks to all for your wondrous support and well-wishes.


  1. Time for a long sea voyage my friend!

  2. Hey Wilum, lay off the liberty caps old chap!!! I feel you have many more stories in you, so hang in there, take deep breaths, stop in midstride and take a rest.

    Were the Mormons invited? If not, make them tell you about the secret underwear, and how you get to be a god of your own planet. Always good for a chuckle. "Manuscript Found" probably wouldn't make much sense to them, but Robert Price might get the reference.


  3. I was raised LDS and have worn the secret underwear, which are merely the Temple garments one acquires when going to the Temple for endowments. Going to the Temple with my grandfather, just before leaving for Ireland for my two-year mission, was one of the most magnificent experiences in my life. Yes, I had requested tat the Church send some Elders to my hospital bed so as to perform the Blessing on the Sick with consecrated oil. It was weird when everyone but S. T. Joshi immediately left the room--I rather wish he had stayed, but eventually he mumbled something I could not quite hear and left himself.

    Feeling much better now that I am home, and I hope that I can completely recover and return to writing. I miss working on books, such work is the air I breathe. I still have a keen vision of what one can accomplish as a Lovecraftian weird fiction writer today, the possibilities are endless!

  4. Wilum, I have been very concerned about reports of your hospitalization -- glad to read here that you're home, at least. I think you've made the best decision regarding your mom. Take care of yourself! My daughter and I have both suffered some serious health issues here in Vietnam but are on the mend ourselves -- I'll write more at length later! You and I have to stick around a bit longer to write that novel of ours! MUCH LOVE, - Jeff