Loft Soul

 

Gawd, isn't that a fabulous image??!!  It is Oliver Wetter's cover illustration for the forthcoming anthology from Innsmouth Free Press, Fungi.  Oh, Yuggoth, how I ache to write some wee thing for this anthology, and how impossible it is yet to write any new fiction.  This is my current intense psychological situation as an artist.  I ache to write new fiction, I need to do so to feel like I am alive; but this past illness has robbed me of so much energy, and I am having such trouble concentrating, that writing is next to impossible.  And trying to force new work just makes matters worse, leading to headaches and even asthma attacks.  How much is real, how much is psychological?  The mind can heal or debauch the body.  I've been trying to work on a new story for Cody Goodfellow's forthcoming anthology of tales inspired by Clark Ashton Smith's Hyperborea tales, but the idea I had was too similar to Smith's "Ubbo Sathla," and I couldn't get started on it anyway, so I've given up.  (But trying to write the story returned me to reading lots and lots of Smith, and his fiction utterly enchants me!)  

I keep waiting for that one project that will so excite and inspire me that I cannot help but delve into fictional expression.  I am convinced, still, that an anthology called Fungi is such a thing.  Maybe I shall try to write a wee prose-poem sequence, keenly Lovecraftian, centering on the theme of fungi and see what I can come up with.  I must be in this book!  It will drive me mad to miss out on such a thing.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my new doktor, my very first real primary physician.  He is a doctor at Swedish Hospital.  I have apply'd for disability and have already qualify'd for food stamps, but I need to have a regular real doctor give me an examination and then sign papers so that I can try and get medical coverage.  I am hoping it doesn't snow tonight--I dread driving in snow!

Unable to work on fiction alone, I have asked the brilliant Jessica Amanda Salmonson to write my next book with me.  She and I have collaborated in bygone days on a couple of tales (indeed, she helped me write the very first tale of Sesqua Valley), and her vision is so deliciously dark and twisted that I think, together, we can write a really diseased collection of decadent weird fiction.  But it will have to be slow-going, and this is will be a two-year project.  

Okay, perhaps I will spend ye rest of ye evening scanning HPL's Fungi from Yuggoth and makes notes toward a new wee prose-poem sequence concerning Lovecraftian fungi.  O, Dark Gawds of Yuggoth, inspire me....................................................

Hey!  I just discovered how to bring my YouTube videos here!  I'm getting depressed about that whining noise in the background, it makes me not want to record new vlogs.  I recorded one last night and the audio was so messed-up that I deleted it.  Some tells me the noise may be my laptop fan.  Maybe the only way I can get rid of the noise is to get a new laptop, but this one is still perfect for the important thing--writing new fiction.  Ooooo, let me find one of my really deranged YouTube vlogs, the kind that gets me nasty comments from YouTube viewers.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!